We Need Each Other

A little poetry happened on late night TV this week.

On Friday, Jimmy Fallon’s musical guest on “The Tonight Show” was Meghan Trainor, recent Grammy winner for Best New Artist, the pop sensation who first exploded onto the music scene with a courageous song about body image called “All About the Bass.”

She performed the latest single from her new album “Thank You,” a catchy song called “Me Too.” Here are the lyrics to the chorus:

I thank God everyday that I woke up feelin’ this way.

And I can’t help lovin’ myself and I don’t need nobody else.

If I was you, I’d wanna be me too.

Trainor deserves credit for promoting positive self-image. She sings about confidence and strength in the face of rejection or unfair judgments. But the lyrics to this song take self-esteem to the level of narcissistic hyper-individualism. There is nothing healthy (or strong, for that matter) about insisting that you “don’t need nobody else” – as though you are an island, a whole person in and of yourself. We need each other. We are made for relationships and community, and a pop anthem that celebrates absolute autonomy is actually promoting a false sense of self.

Here’s the poetry: After this alluring pop icon finished her song with her back to the audience, she turned to acknowledge the applause and cheers. But before she could wave or take a bow, she tripped over her elevator shoes and fell to the floor. Fallon, who was already coming toward her to make a final pitch for her album, did about the most gracious thing he could have done. Instead of

extending a hand to pull her up, he got down on the floor and lay next to her flat on his back. While the studio audience went wild, Trainor and Fallon remained still. For a moment, Trainor appeared to bury her face in embarrassment, but only briefly. She turned over and joined Fallon in looking up at the ceiling. Then they faced each other and laughed. Fallon jumped to his feet and helped his guest to hers. What could have been a moment of humiliation turned into a tender, light-hearted illustration that disproved the whole premise of “Me Too.” Right there on national television, Fallon spontaneously (and unwittingly, I’m sure) demonstrated why we all need each other.

No matter how successful or self-satisfied we may be at any given moment in life, we are going to fall. We may trip over our own successes, we may stumble because of our own poor choices, or we may be knocked down by difficult circumstances. And on those occasions, what we need more than anything is for someone to come to where we are – not just offer a hand from above to pull us up, but join us where we have fallen. When we have known that kind of redemptive companionship, we become more human. We discover that we are not spiritually self-sufficient, but are made whole by our connection to others.

All the great spiritual traditions teach that we find true freedom, not by declaring independence from the world, but by embracing our interdependence with our loved ones, our communities, and our natural environment. In 2 Corinthians 5:18-20, the Apostle Paul writes that God has entrusted followers of Christ with “the message of reconciliation,” the good news that God is putting creation back together, reconciling each of us to ourselves, to others, and to God.

Instead of confessing, “I can’t help loving myself, I don’t need nobody else,” we seek to love God and love our neighbors as we love ourselves (Mark 12:28-31). I thank God for all three of these loves, not just the last one. I know that I cannot truly love myself without giving and receiving the first two.

©2016 by J. Mark Lawson